TrApPeD

ever feel trapped? like you just don't know if you'll ever be free? you can't find a way out, and you don't know how you got in. or when it happen. but you keep hitting the unbreakable walls, hoping to get through, or maybe draw attention to you so someone can help you. but no one hears you. no one cares. no one wants to deal with other peoples' problems. they would rather be selfish and pay attention to the stupid random shit that goes on in their everyday life. other people do not matter. other people are not important. other people may as well not even exist.

a DaY tO rEmEmBeR

all i did was walk into my house. i was outside on the swings, feeling the wind brush against my face and my hair get blown back as i went back and forth. i walk into the kitchen and i see mommy. she is face down on the floor. i can feel tears start to swell up in my eyes. but i hold them in. i don't know where daddy is and if he sees me crying, i'll be right next to mommy again. daddy is always telling me that real men do not show emotion. and if i ever want to be a real man, i better start learning now. i walk over to mommy's side so i can see her face. a tear spills over. her left eye is swollen, and she has a couple more bruises visible on her face and neck. i hear footsteps coming towards the kitchen from the living room. big thuds going real slow. it sounded like the foot steps of daddy when he wears his work boots. i quickly kiss mommy on the head and run out the door, but leave the inside door open, so i can hear what happens. not that i don't already know, but i always seem to have this curiosity. i run out around the corner of the house. i hear my daddy start cursing and yelling at mommy. he is mad that she is still on the floor. i hear mommy yell with pain, the kind of sound that she makes when daddy pulls her hair. i crouch in a fetal position and put my hands over my eyes. i begin to cry. inside there is a thud as well as a yell by my mommy after she hit the floor again. i hear the heavy footsteps coming in my direction. was i crying loudly? i can't remember. there was so much yelling inside, i couldn't hear myself. the screen door swings open and i look up to see daddy standing over me.
"i knew you would cry. you are a worthless piece of..." he stops and his eyes widen as though in horror. he drops to his knees. mommy is standing behind him, now leaning on the wall of the house. daddy falls forward and lays at my feet. a few more unsteady breaths leave his mouth, then he stops. his eyes look out beyond anything i can see. i stare wide-eyed at daddy and the knife that was sticking out of his back. i look over to mommy. her hands have blood all over them. i notice her holding her side. she begins to sway a little, so i rush over to hold her. as i reached her, she collapses. i attempt to catch her but she falls on me. her breathing is heavy and slow. i manage to hear her whisper "i love you" as her last breath escaped her lips. i began to cry again, harder than i had ever cried before. about ten minutes went by with me laying under mommy. i struggle to get out from under her. she is not that big. her birthday was yesterday and she turned 25.  Daddy was 47. i am 7 years old. i get out from under mommy and look at both their bodies lying lifelessly on the porch. i hug mommy and go inside. i take a shower to rinse off what i had left of mommy on me. i put on some clean clothes and packed a small bag. i picked up the phone and called the cops.
"my mommy and daddy are dead. 375 Abrend Lane. please come." i hang up and go out to the porch to give mommy one last kiss. then i left..

TrAvEl

learning to walk is quiet the adventure. its one of the first adventures that anyone and everyone goes on in life. learning to put one foot in front of the other. going forward and backwards and side to side. once one learns to walk, the journey is over. however, a new, and much longer and dangerous journey begins. now that you can walk you are able to go anywhere and everywhere. walk for a mile. walk for a day, a week, a month, a year. down the street, across the state, across the country. the options are endless and it is all completely up to you on which way you go. you can be swayed to go one way or another. but ultimately, you are the one in control of which way you go. there is no blaming others when you end up somewhere you don't want to be. sometimes it may seem like the easiest thing because you don't want to admit to yourself that you took the wrong path. but it happens. to everyone. don't put blame on yourself, or on others. no one deserves it. its all part of life. you go in your own direction. and make your own decisions. you may want to argue that you were told to make a decision, but now one can make you do anything. they have a gun to your head, you still do not have to  say a word. Everything works out in the end. whether it seems that way at the beginning or not. life finds a way of working out for the better.