i started out with a mother, a father, and an older sister. then i was taken out of my home and have never seen my parents again. my sister and i have been separated. we were not allowed to live together when we were little. she was taken into a wonderful family. very loving and caring. they wanted my sister and me to be together as much as possible. i was less fortunate. i was raised in a family that hated me. my mom worked for social services, so they never believed me when i told them of the abuse that she put me through. my dad was a handy-man. he was also in his late sixties when he told me his feelings for me.. they were more than a feeling he should feel towards his daughter. my younger brother was a drug user. i'm not sure how severe it was, but he was pretty hardcore from what he told me.. my younger sister was princess and loved by both parents. she was allowed to do whatever, whenever. it didn't matter, and she rarely had to ask. i grew up doing chores. and i mean all of them. babysitting (ages ranging between 5days old and 8 years old), washing dishes, drying dishes, making dinner, feeding the (3) cats, change the cages of the (5) hamsters, change the litterbox, make the (6) beds, vacuum the whole house, dust the whole house, taking care of the (4' to 8.5' deep, inground) pool, cleaning around the pool decking, raking the front yard, and more. can you imagine? 3 years old. new home. new family. and yet, little by little the things piled up, all the way until my freshman year in high school. i rebelled and refused to do some of the chores. i said i would do them if i got help from my two siblings, since they were out doing what the wanted or playing video games. this pissed off my mom and she decided that i was not allowed to do anything anymore. so if i tried to help with something i would get yelled at. and yet she would still hassle me if i wasn't helping out. so eventually i stayed in my room 24/7. only time i would leave was if i was forced to, or school. i barely ate because i would be made fun of. well, senior year, around october, i was finally taken out of that house. they no longer hold custody over me. i'm free. i was put in a foster home about a town away. still at the same school so i could finish my senior year. it went well for about six months when my foster mom kicked me out of her house. i had been in the hospital for about a week in april sometime... i got back to my foster home and decided i wanted to celebrate with some friends. so a few of us went to amherst to pick up. high as hell, we drive back to concord drop off my foster sister and foster brother at the house and i decide to spend the night with my other friend. he offered letting my stay the night and i took it. my friend and i headed towards his dad's house in needham. i get a call when we are about a half hour away from my foster home. my foster mom tells me to get back to the house, give her the house key and grab my belongings. so i did. since my friend was the reason for getting me and my foster siblings back at 2am, he let me stay with him. he told me i would have a place to stay for a little while, but he would have to talk to his dad to find out how long. its been around four months and i feel like family. its a wonderful feeling. i really don't think i have felt this since i was three and arrived at my first family's house. i feel like i have a home. i feel like i have a family. i feel like i have a support system. his dad told me that i was welcome to stay as long as i needed a home. unfortunately, i have been working on getting an apartment. i should be moving in, in about a month.. i'm really nervous. i feel like i will lose this family. and i will be stuck alone. but maybe that's how i am meant to be. hated and alone.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
fAmIlY iS eVeRyThInG
i started out with a mother, a father, and an older sister. then i was taken out of my home and have never seen my parents again. my sister and i have been separated. we were not allowed to live together when we were little. she was taken into a wonderful family. very loving and caring. they wanted my sister and me to be together as much as possible. i was less fortunate. i was raised in a family that hated me. my mom worked for social services, so they never believed me when i told them of the abuse that she put me through. my dad was a handy-man. he was also in his late sixties when he told me his feelings for me.. they were more than a feeling he should feel towards his daughter. my younger brother was a drug user. i'm not sure how severe it was, but he was pretty hardcore from what he told me.. my younger sister was princess and loved by both parents. she was allowed to do whatever, whenever. it didn't matter, and she rarely had to ask. i grew up doing chores. and i mean all of them. babysitting (ages ranging between 5days old and 8 years old), washing dishes, drying dishes, making dinner, feeding the (3) cats, change the cages of the (5) hamsters, change the litterbox, make the (6) beds, vacuum the whole house, dust the whole house, taking care of the (4' to 8.5' deep, inground) pool, cleaning around the pool decking, raking the front yard, and more. can you imagine? 3 years old. new home. new family. and yet, little by little the things piled up, all the way until my freshman year in high school. i rebelled and refused to do some of the chores. i said i would do them if i got help from my two siblings, since they were out doing what the wanted or playing video games. this pissed off my mom and she decided that i was not allowed to do anything anymore. so if i tried to help with something i would get yelled at. and yet she would still hassle me if i wasn't helping out. so eventually i stayed in my room 24/7. only time i would leave was if i was forced to, or school. i barely ate because i would be made fun of. well, senior year, around october, i was finally taken out of that house. they no longer hold custody over me. i'm free. i was put in a foster home about a town away. still at the same school so i could finish my senior year. it went well for about six months when my foster mom kicked me out of her house. i had been in the hospital for about a week in april sometime... i got back to my foster home and decided i wanted to celebrate with some friends. so a few of us went to amherst to pick up. high as hell, we drive back to concord drop off my foster sister and foster brother at the house and i decide to spend the night with my other friend. he offered letting my stay the night and i took it. my friend and i headed towards his dad's house in needham. i get a call when we are about a half hour away from my foster home. my foster mom tells me to get back to the house, give her the house key and grab my belongings. so i did. since my friend was the reason for getting me and my foster siblings back at 2am, he let me stay with him. he told me i would have a place to stay for a little while, but he would have to talk to his dad to find out how long. its been around four months and i feel like family. its a wonderful feeling. i really don't think i have felt this since i was three and arrived at my first family's house. i feel like i have a home. i feel like i have a family. i feel like i have a support system. his dad told me that i was welcome to stay as long as i needed a home. unfortunately, i have been working on getting an apartment. i should be moving in, in about a month.. i'm really nervous. i feel like i will lose this family. and i will be stuck alone. but maybe that's how i am meant to be. hated and alone.
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