iNvIsIbLe

ever felt alone? or invisible to others? it happens everyday. to many people. people you would not expect to not have anyone to turn to. that girl in the corner dressed in black with messy hair and torn clothes. ever think that maybe she is upset about something? ever feel that you should go help her or offer a hand. or even offer to be friendly? do you realize that maybe she is too scared to reach out to others? maybe she has had so many bad experiences that she can't find it in her to reach out to anyone anymore. maybe she doesn't even have a family anymore. you dont know. so dont judge her. don't make fun of her. she knows that you watch her and are talking shit about her. she can feel it in the air. its something she has become expert at because of all the people who give her those judgemental looks. its not fun, its not healthy to be alone. she knows this, but feels that it is safer where she is. invisible to the world. no one actually knows that she is a very bright and friendly person. and no one will find out because they are all too busy judging her. i understand she comes across as "scary" or "different" or "goth" or "emo". but thats just how she dresses. its the one way she feels comfortable being around people. the way she looks is honestly just a way for her to subliminally reach out to people. she hopes that by her sticking out will draw friendly attention. she wants friends. she wants hope. but she just can't find it alone.

ArE yOu FoR oR aGaInSt?

the death penalty. a huge controversy in many places. is it right to take the life of any one person? i understand that the death penalty is suppose to be a punishment for a crime or a series of crimes, but taking the life of another human being is not right. it is not moral. so maybe someone killed over fifty people. and this person gets life in prison. but someone who kills a person, maybe two gets put on death row. it is not fair so why have it at all. life in prison is more of punishment than taking the life of the person accused. killing them is just an easy way out. when the person has to spend the rest of their life in prison suffering with the guilt of the blood on their hands, it is much more of a punishment. let me put it this way, if someone were to kill the person who you hold closest, would you rather them be killed and thats the end? or would you rather them rot in prison and suffer with guilt. suffer from malnutrition. i would rather them suffer. i dont want them to just die and not even have the chance to really think about what they have done wrong. i understand that some people are just so messed up that they do not see what they have done wrong. it takes time. it may take them a lifetime to realize that they did wrong. what if the person who was executed was actually found innocent? it would be too late. this has happened many times. and yet the death penalty is still legal. why? it's just not fair!

pArEnTs

i just had a talk with my biological sister about out birth parents. we were adopted into separate families when we were younger. recently being taken out of my home because of abuse and harrassment, i do not have the privilage of talking to either of my adoptive parents about where i came from and who i am. so i sat down with my sister and her adoptive mom. in summary i was told that it would be best not to bother searching. at least not now. even though i am eighteen and ready. it is unknown of my father's location or existance (i was told that he could be dead). and my mother is not ready to meet my sister and me. this leaves me feeling lost, weak, and alone. it should not matter whether or not my parents are ready to see us. as long as we are ready it should not matter. every child deserves to at least meet their parents once. if it doesn't work out, then that's ok. at least they don't feel as though a piece of them is missing. at least they have closure and are able to move on with their lives and not have to worry about where their parents are and if they are still alive or not. it's not fair to the child. i deserve the closure. i want to meet them even if they aren't what i expect. even if they turn me down and don't want anything to do with me. i dont care. i want to know who they are. i want to meet my parents.

ScRaP

ever feel like a piece of scrap on the side of the road? like you don't matter to anyone. you were just tossed out the door of a moving car. they kept driving laughing in their hysterics as they usually do. its like they think its funny. like putting you down is what they live for. in a few days they'll come back to see if you are still on the road as an unwanted scrap would be. untouched by a breeze to move you along because of the little faith and confidence you have in yourself. they'll pick you up and tell you that you mean something. and you will believe them because they are all you have. too scared to find someone else to lean on. too scared that everyone is as these people are. you figure its better to be scrap. with hope that when you are all worn, torn, and destroyed they will throw you away for good and never return to replay the torture. everytime you lie on the pavement you go numb and just don't care what happens to you or the world around you. you hope that an eighteen wheeler will come speeding by and destroy what remains of you. but it never comes. you are forced to stay as a piece of scrap. forced to live in your tortured life.

sHaPe

you know the feeling, where there are so many people telling you what to do and how to act, that you have no idea who you are anymore? its like, you don't know how to be you. even though the human body is not made to be reshaped, its almost as though you have been shaped over time. you can't look in the mirror without questioning who it is that is looking back at you. too many people have been taken advantage of, and are shaped to be what others want. but what about what that person wants? don't they get a say as to who they become? they should. its they're body. its they're life. they should be the only one in control of their life, no one else. it's horrible how deformed some people turn out to be. so many are changed by others. so they look and act different than they would have if they had had control of their own life. plus, this type of behavior does not just disappear. it gets passed down from the predator to the victim causing the victim to become a predator and hurt someone else who they find should look and act a different way.