MiRrOr

looking in the mirror i see nothing. i see worthlessness. i see someone helpless. someone who needs help. more help than anyone can give. if no one can help is it worth sticking around? is it worth living? im just feeling like there is nothing worth living for. i feel over weight and stupid. i can't stay in a family without fucking up somehow. i either get removed, or kicked out, or im just not wanted. i can't deal with this anymore. i feel done. i want out. i want hope. i want love. is it too much to ask to have someone care about me. to have someone there for me and not leave me because i am to difficult to handle? depression is killing me. depression is rubbing off on those around me. depression is my life now. i can't escape it. i've tried medication. i've tried meditation. i've tried ignoring it. i've tried hiding from it. i cover it up wherever i go. i dont want to hurt others. i dont want to upset others any longer. i give up. i dont see anything in myself any more. looking in the mirror i do not see myself. i see who i turned into. i see who others want me to be. i do not see me.