TrYiNg

"you're a bitch." "you tell nothing but lies." "you've ruined the lives of the people who loved you." "you're psychotic." "you're worthless." "your stupid." and now "you're alone." ... yes. yes. true. true. maybe i am all these things. maybe i enjoy being these things. or maybe i just can't mold the way they want me to. i try. and i try. but i can't. i can't be who they want me to be. they harass and abuse me to the point where i am a different person, but never the person that they want me to be. i could keep trying. i could keep hoping that something will change. but then i will be doing the same over and over expecting different results. that would make me crazy? insane? psychotic? i don't know the word. i don't really care either. all i know is by trying over and over and expecting the same thing makes me look like the idiot. whereas it should be the people making me try are the stupid ones. no one should be controlled to the extent that i have been. it's not right. its not healthy. but these people can't be changed. they have already molded themselves to be who they are. there is no way you will get them to listen to you. to have them hear your side of the story. it just doesn't work that way. trust me. i've tried.