mInD vS hEaRt

 All I want is to be happy.

All I want is to be loved, cared for, and appreciated.

I've found that.

I've found a forever home.

But I've thought that before.

What will become of me,

When they tire of me?

What will become of my heart,

If I trusted wrong again?

I hate this feeling that sticks in my soul

And screws with my mind.

Too many times I've gone through hell.

Too many times, I've had to tape, glue, and staple

My heart back together.

Pieces are still missing from all the abuse and confusion.

My heart wants to trust so badly.

My mind knows it's never going to be the right time.

Everyone leaves.

Everyone will tire of me.

Everyone will ultimately hate me.

My mind is cruel.

My heart is too lonely to think clearly.

I love you.

I truly do.

I am in love with you.

That's terrifying for me.

But how do I let go of the past that has me crippled?

How do I make myself trust again?

How can I let myself feel this bliss?

I'm just not sure I can.

I hope you don't hate me for it.